Wednesday we had the pleasure of taking the red eye from Las Vegas to New Jersey. At least we were upgraded to first class because that is how we roll...or because Dr. HokieKev flies alot... but we were not sitting together. I guess it is better to be in first class and apart then scrunched up next to each other. Anyhow. So we get on the plane and I go to take my seat and I look over and see this odd looking character being VERY fidgety. I thought he was hopped up on meth or something. He goes on to have a freakout because there will be no food on the plane and no movie shown. The flight attendant tries her best to explain to him that people like to sleep on these red eyes and I worry for my arm as I think I am sitting next to a hungry meth addict who may try to use my arm as his dinner.
So a few minutes go by and the flight attendant leans in and asks crazy guy "Are you that magician guy?" Crazy guy responds "Yeah, I am that magician guy." Whatever, I think to myself, we are in Vegas where magicians and other odd characters are a dime a dozen. I put my feet up and try to go to sleep. Meanwhile, tons of passengers are coming in including one pregnant woman who was unfortunate to be stuck in a middle seat. She looked like she was at the point in her pregnancy where the baby was beginning to think her bladder was a trampoline. She was also trying to get her seat switched so she wouldn't have to climb over the guy next to her every 20 minutes. The flight attendant would have none of that and told her she would just have to wait and see if someone should switch. Clearly, the flight attendant had other things on her mind.
So she comes over, practically knocking into me and says to crazy guy "David, may I call you David- we have a pilots meal available I can pull aside for you if you want." Crazy guy loves that idea and I am now sure I am sitting next to that magician dude named David. Again, whatever, lots of magicians, lots of guys names David. We get off the ground and crazy magician guy is brought his meal which looked a way lot better than any plane food I have ever had. Dr. HokieKev was a bit disgruntled and asks me how he got the sandwich. I replied "well, he is famous and you aren't." Kevin wanted to know who it was but at this point I was still unsure.
Fast forward an hour and crazy guy pulls out his iphone and begins to watch some magics acts. Then it is Family Guy- the Family Guy where he was the guest star. When that was over, he pulled up Conan and this is when I was convinced crazy guy was I was relevant in 1994 magician David Copperfield because guess who the guest on Conan that episode was.....David Copperfield. Dude spent THREE HOURS watching himself on TV. Weirdo.
He then went through the skymall magazine and ripped out pages of stuff I am assuming he wanted to buy and then folded them up into really tiny pieces. I guess no one told him that he can take the magazine with him. It is free and no one really needs any of the crap in there anyway. But never the less, he spent at least an hour going though and picking stuff out. When we got off the plane, he pushed me out ofthe way to get out. He proceeded through the terminal completely unnoticed....again, he was once relative...in 1994. The flight attendant spent the rest of the flight fawning all over crazy dude. "So you need water....coffee....orange juice....my first born..." Totally nuts.
And seriously, dude has millions- if not billions- of dollars (I looked on Wikipedia, he made $54 million last year, and we all know that if it is on Wikipedia it must be true) why in the world is he flying on the US Scareways complaining about the lack of video entertainment? He owns his own island for crying out loud! Maybe Sigfried and Roy had the private plane that weekend or maybe he likes to go through major airports hoping to be recognized- who knows.
All I know is that I slept with David Copperfield Wednesday night and he was really weird.
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