Bulk Food Shopping and Drunk Guys at Grocery Stores

You think it would be easy. Go to Sam's Club. Buy unnecessary amounts of food. Come home and put unnecessary amounts of food in newly acquired apocalypse pantry. Sounds easy enough, right? Unfortunatly this is not so. I went to Sam's yesterday- apparently with every family in the greater Logan metroplex- to stock up on supplies but ended up walking out very dazed and confused. You see, they sell 10 lb bags of sugar. Okay, that will last forever and its only five bucks. But wait, it isn't reclosable- by the time I can use all of that the bugs will have invaded and we all know how much I love bugs. The same thing went for the flour and salt. I guess I need to stock up on some bug proof, non paper storage devices. Maybe they have a special apocalypse pantry class I can take. Maybe there is a special store to buy all the necessary devices to store your bulk food.

Ok- so bulk baking products are going to work right now...let's try something else. The problem with all the something elses is much the same. Dr. HokieKev and I can't eat 40 ozs. of Prego at once- we can't even eat one normal sized jar at once. Yes, I could freeze the leftovers but when I do that I always forget they are in there. When we left Florida I defrosted 3 frozen containers of unused Prego. I also don't need four 30 oz bottles of ketchup or 10 cans of chicken. Maybe I could buy bulk protein bars- that has to be cheaper than the grocery store. Nope, won't work. You see, it seems that things like puddings, protein bars, and other boxed goods are packaged so that you get 16 yummy things and 16 gross things. I don't want 16 butterscotch puddings of peanut butter parfait protein bars. Gross! So I walked out of Sam's with somce Cheerios, lightbulbs, and lotion.

I then decided to **shudder** go to WalMart. As many of you know, I HATE WalMart. I think I would rather eat all 16 of the peanut butter parfait protein bars than go to WalMart. For those who do not understand my deep seeded hatred for WalMart, let's recap. To start with there is never any parking. Nevermind the fact that the parking lot is the size of Rhode Island, it is always half full with semis, busses, used cars for sale, lost shopping carts, lost children, etc.... If you can manage to find a parking spot and make your way inside without getting run over, you are welcome by filth. I honestly think you could scrub the place down with bleach and it would still be dirty. The greeter people are somewhat friendly but everyone else is in a perpetual mood. It is also really hard to find things, except for the useless items that grace the endcaps. Seriously, who needs a pen that folds to the size of a penny and fits in your pocket? But I braved it because there is no Target in this town and the stuff I needed was WAY more expensive at the Bed, Bath, and Beyond. The Logan WalMart is only half as bad as the Gainesville one. It was at least tolerable- well, except for the MILLIONS of screaming children running around asking for treats. Apparently, Mormons are sugar fiends. Probably because they don't drink soda, coffee, or alcohol. So all these sugar high children run around WalMart trying to get their parents to give them more sugar. Seriously people, give your kids a bunch of grapes and call it a day. After navigating aisles and aisles full of roaming children, I finally found most of the stuff I needed and headed home with a full cart of kitchen organization supplies, floor cleaning devices, and one fancy lightbulb changer.

On the way home, it hit me that Dr. HokieKev would probably want dinner that night and, since the only thing we had eaten that day was some Aggie Ice Cream (which, although wonderfully delicious, is made will milk fat and probably should not be eaten on a regular basis), I should probably pick up something that wasn't deep fried. I tried the second grocery store in town- Albertson's. The previous day, I went and got a turkey breast from this place called Smith's Marketplace- yeah, won't be going back there. The prices were pretty good but they had zero selection. Four for $9 Breyer's Ice Cream is great, if you stock more than four flavors. So, I went to Albertson's and was not too surprised that they had very little selection as well. Where is my Ukrops when you need it!!! Anyway, I forwent the $6 American Cheese and grabbed some 2/$5 Stoffers Lasagne and a bag of salad and proceeded to checkout. In line for checkout, I overhear this conversation between the bag boy and checkout kid.

Bag boy: Yeah, there is a drunk guy over there.
Checkout kid: Where?
BB: Over there, and he is causing a scene and bleeding.
COK: He is bleeding?
BB: Yeah, I think they called the cops.

After they finished bagging my groceries, they ran over to check it out. As I was leaving, the cops were in fact pulling in. Guess drunk guy got to spend a night in jail. And I was wondering why this town needed a 24 hour bail bondsman in the center of town. Hopefully, the third grocerystore in this town will be surprisingly wonderful or I will be stuck going to three grocery stores and various specialty places to get all the foods Dr. HokieKev and I eat. And honestly, who has time for that!

On one final note, I think I will be doing all my shopping on Sunday. No one is out on Sundays. Even Sam's Club was deserted on Sunday. Yesterday, not so much. So, Sunday it is!!!